How Perfectionism and Anxiety Can Get in the Way of Making an Impact
PERFECTIONISM, ANXIETY AND THE FEAR OF FAILURE
Seth Goden wrote this on his blog yesterday:
“I hope we can all agree that the long run is made up of a bunch of short runs.
That seems obvious.
The surprising thing is that we live our short runs as if that isn’t true.”
All I can think about is the many times I’ve been too terrified to open a door because of how scared I am of the long run. The proverbial water stations are elusive, or maybe I just don’t want to accept that they are there.
I’ll open the door a crack, peek out into the vastness of opportunity and see only one shiny landmark at the end of a long, narrow path. A path that cuts through a desert of doubt, a haunted wood full of old ghosts, and zombies who will chase after me the whole time trying to tear out my organs of confidence and self-worth (everyone knows they are the tastiest bits).
Most of the time, I don’t event allow myself to believe there are havens along the way. Or that there are smaller landmarks on the path that are worth celebrating and that can equip me with tools and armor to strengthen me on my task.
Maybe it’s a direct result of the religious teachings of my youth. The lessons that led me to believe that our job was to suffer until the end.
A picture of one of my favorite doors.
That we should refrain from worldly pleasures because we are to be in it, but not of it. Live with only the end in sight. There are truths in those lessons that I still believe in. But it wasn’t until recently my view of these teachings changed (We can talk about that another time.).
Whatever the cause, I am afraid to open those doors and start the safer, more controlable short runs because I am terrified that I won’t make it all the way to the big finish. And that I’ll be really, really bad at running. In other words, I’m terrified of failing.
It’s a shame because there are so many incredibly good things we can all do for each other, for society, and for ourselves if we are able to see the havens and hill-top fortresses more clearly. In order to overcome the fear and failure and stop procrastinating, we need to see the ends of the short runs more clearly and make the celebrations bigger each time we get there.
TIPS TO STOP PROCRASTINATING AND BEAT THE ANXIETY
1-Open the Door:
Before you can start anything, you need to make a rational assessment of what and where the goal is. You need to allow yourself to see the opportunity. Let’s say for example, you want to clean out and organize your whole garage now that you have binge-watched Marie Kondo on Netflix. You will not be able to fully assess the scope of the work from your couch. You have to get up, open the garage door, set your eyes on the task, assess the situation, and allow yourself to believe that it is possible.
2-Establish the short runs and create a roadmap:
Don’t rush through the door and out onto the path without a map, or without knowing where your going to stop and celebrate your progress. Identify the milestones in your project that should be considered small stopping points. Start by focusing on just one of those milestones to cut through the overwhelm, and then run after it.
3-Celebrate like hell:
Once you have accomplished a task and reached the first milestone, you have completed the first short run. Now, reward yourself! Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit addresses rewards and how they are incredible motivators in creating new habits. Let’s go back to the garage. As a motivator you tell yourself that you will get a cupcake, or a nap, once the shelf on the back wall of the garage is clear. Whichever motivates you most.
Maybe the long run is to make an impact in your community. Make your milestone small and volunteer at a charity for a day. The feeling of having done good may be reward enough for you.
Maybe you have four little baby kids running around your house with their arms extended, knocking stuff off shelves and throwing toys all around, and you just want to your house to be clean and organized. Start with the short run: only do the dishes. Then reward yourself with a giant cupcake, and don’t even hide from your kids when you eat it!
Breaking through procrastination is very similar to breaking old habits and forming new ones. And in order to do that, you need to establish the reward that will motivate you to open the next door to the next short run.
Don’t let the fear of failure, or the overwhelm of the long run stop you from opening the door and taking a small step toward helping someone, or creating something beautiful, or impacting your community. Mark out the milestones and celebrate the small achievements. Because there is so much good we can do right here, right now, without hiding from the hurt and scariness in the world. No, we need to run right into it and kick those confidence-eating zombies in the face.