What's So Great About Weaknesses?
It feels like everyone wants to know what I'm not good at. Even more terrifying, it's like they want ME to know what I'm not good at.
It’s not just the tangible skillsets like sports or drawing or flipping an egg without breaking the yolk.
No, the stuff I'm wading through is the kind that I normally drown out with chores, followed by potato chips and ice cream. They are the weaknesses that we carry with us as part of our personalities and spiritual make-up, and I can not escape them. I even took a 30 minute test about them.
The test showed me a series of traits and told me to pick the one that best describes me. I'm not sure if you know this about me: I suck at describing myself. Mostly because I have a fear of labels and pigeonholes. I'm so indecisive, I can't settle on who I am from one week to the next.
We're working on this.
The results listed identifying traits, laid out in order of strongest to not-so-strong with lines of colors for each category, like a DNA code for personality.
When I read their description of me, it was unsettling. I had stumbled into a fun house of mirrors and caught my own reflection, moving around a bit, testing the angle to be sure it was me I saw. How could it be so accurate?
"Discover what makes you exceptional," the test shouts. Be reminded of how awesome you are and go forth into the world to apply your superpowers in new and meaningful ways.
But what about the stuff that's not-so-strong. They're the bits that are a little less exciting to know, and the same ones that are demanded to be revealed at every job interview. "What's your greatest weakness?" the lady in the gray scarf and glasses asks while she takes notes in her Moleskine journal. You know. You've been there.
And then, I had the realization: All of the most intense emotions I feel are rooted in my weaknesses. All the sadness and self-doubt that cripples my soul grows from those colored lines at the bottom of my test results, but the branches reach wide enough to cast a shadow at the top.
We can't ignore our weaknesses and pretend they have an insignificant effect. We have to talk about them. We have to know them closely and intimately, because they are the stuff that gets in the way. We have to watch them on replay like a football coach and pinpoint the slow reactions, the bad passes, and the subtle hesitations that lead to failure and remorse.
It's not my favorite show to watch, but I've grown out of the shame of imperfection, and now it's a little less painful to talk about what it looks like while working through it. The goal is not to find a cure. Our weaknesses are a part of our identity. The goal is to understand the weaknesses and why they're there so that maybe, with each instance, they're a little less powerful and a little more bearable.
If we know our weaknesses, if we know why they're getting in the way and what they're getting in the way of, we can navigate around them to step a little closer to joy.